Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Generosity Arouses Suspicion

Here are some funny and strange tidbits I've learned (sometimes the hard way) while in Romania.

Keeping animals in your house is a disgusting habit especially if its a black cat with yellow eyes. Keeping a guard dog chained up outside your shack house is acceptable as long as it is only on 2 feet of leash.

You will die if you allow the draft to hit you (even if its a 90 degree draft). Keeping a window open in a room while the door is open is a no no. If you catch a cold it is because, you had your neck exposed, didn't have cotton clogging your ears or you ate or drank something too cold. Every old person that sees your baby is not wearing a hat to cover its ears will pull one out of their pocket and try to forcefully put it on your baby....in the summer time!

Fans are not allowed and air conditioning causes headaches. If you open a window in the sweltering heat of a bus, train or car, you will be screamed at. If you pretend you are going to vomit or make noises to the effect, you will get away with the open window for maybe 5 minutes.

Every woman (infant to 60) is required to wear earrings. You must also wear the thickest and brightest makeup. Eyeshadow is always matched to your shirt (bright purple, green, teal...).

If you give someone flowers, you must always give them in odd numbers. Even numbers signify death and are only given at funerals.

Street names are not known to anyone except taxi drivers and foreigners. Directions are given by landmarks and buildings.

Alcoholism and public intoxication are only mildly frowned upon.

Wearing headphones for your mp3/cell phone are a joke . You look like a damn fool if you are listening to your music privately. This is why you can hear 10 techno/manele songs at any given moment.

Manele music is considered to be only appropriate for low-class, uncouth people or Rroma. Most urban or sophisticated people will say they hate this type of music. Nonetheless, they all have a manele CD stashed away in their car.

Due to communism and having to stand in lines for hours for food, you must hold your ground in line with your elbows ready to go. Old people and men think you are the devil when you tell them you were in front of them in line. No business or doctors offices will ever have sign-up sheets or lanes marking out lines. Being called in an orderly fashion to board a flight means nothing. Whether you are in the first or 26th row of an airplane you better push your way through to get on the plane.

It is not acceptable to tell someone (when asked) that you will not baptise your foreign/mixed religion baby if you ever have one. You will be asked religious questions every day. On the other hand, jokes about nuns, monks and especially priests are considered no problem.

It is perfectly acceptable to point out when someone is gaining weight. You can rub their bellies or ask them why they don't do sports. However, you can not jog or workout outside. You will be chased by rabid dogs and men. When at the one room gyms there will be no open windows, fans or air allowed.

Displaying, bragging or speaking about wealth is rarely seen as tactless. You will be asked how much money you make by everyone you meet especially if you are a foreigner.

City air is unhealthy and people will go to great lengths to get out of the city somewhere even if for a few hours, often to grill meat, drink and most importantly, to get some clean air. All of the garbage they use while on these excursions will be deposited in the mountain scenery for the next person to see and add to.

Each city pays street-sweepers to clean up after the citizens. This in turn means that even though there are garbage bins every 20 feet you still must throw as much garbage on the ground as possible. If you pick up someones trash and hand it back to them they will look at you like an alien.

Generosity arouses suspicion.

All police officers and government employees are considered crooked and corrupt. Calling the police or an ambulance is always a last resort. They will not show up for 3 hours no matter the severity of the matter.

When you see name brand clothing such as Prada, Dolce and Gabanna or Versaci, know that they are always fake no matter who is wearing or selling them. Look closely and they will say Praga, Dolce and Gabania or Verzaci.

If you are going into a store, even just for a bottle of water, always use the handbasket or cart provided. You will be accused of stealing if you do not have one.

You will NEVER get a refund or return on anything you buy.

If you are convinced that some service person or business is trying to sucker you....they are!

If someone can profit from something without outright fraud, they will.

Never ever lean against anything! This means don't lean against a building, a wall, a fence, nothing. Everything is extremely dusty and covered in a unique powder paint that will stain your clothes.

If you are ever interested in angering someone in an instant, say anything kind about Gypsies or show any curiousity or interest in them whatsoever.

2 Comments:

At 11:01 PM, Blogger sandra said...

that was very funny

 
At 6:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are not completely right. On the contrary, you disconsider people, history and traditions.I am a Romanian but as many other ones, i don't listen Manele and be sure that I wear original and not fake clothes.You, the Americans, are so proud of you...I cannot understand why...

 

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